Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
