it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Randomize
