I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize