we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize