This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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