Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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