The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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