barbara walters just said penis...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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