Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
