is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
