mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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