I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
