I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
