I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
