Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.

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(416): View more from Toronto

I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

did mom hear me barking???

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

sooo high. sooo many dog friends

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(801): View more from Utah

P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.

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(214): View more from Texas

My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.

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(248): View more from Michigan

He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.

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(949): View more from California

My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING

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