I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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