I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
