I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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