The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
