she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Are we still banned from the library?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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