No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
