Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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