I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
