big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
