If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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