Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
