How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
