Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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