Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
