Small penises have feelings too.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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