She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
