What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize