he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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