I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
