THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
