I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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