my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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