She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
