Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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