it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I love you.
Bad choice
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