If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
