That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
