What a fucking waste of an outfit
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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