okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
