no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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