can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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