we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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