im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
