did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
