Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
