Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
