Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I understand Curling. That high.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
