True but thats because hes a fetus.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
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