I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Im just a social blackout drinker.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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