He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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