My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
