How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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