Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
