if i can run in heels then i can drive
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
