there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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