please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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