fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
