So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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