so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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