We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
