This is the prime rib incident all over again
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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