he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
